We overcomplicate our life when we feel emotional and psychological pressure to give away our identity every day. This especially true if you are doing something new, realizing your dream and become more visible.
To avoid prejudice and discrimination, we try to protect our true identity, and this leads to overcomplicating our life, says Steve Gory, author of the GED lessons on Bestgedclasses, a website that offers online prep for high school dropouts. We often see this pattern between our students; he continues.
We want to protect our identity because we know that:
- Employers are hiring and firing based on people’s online activities.
- Cyberbullies are taking advantage of those who reveal themselves as vulnerable.
- Schools are denying admission based on ‘politically incorrect” behavior etc.
And the results can be quite devastating at times. Gory says that many of their students quit high school because they life because so overcomplicated that leaving school was the only option.
This is why having a plan of action is so important. You should be proactive rather than reactive when you are in battle.
When an audience recognizes you as accomplishing something special, you must be ready and willing to protect and defend your identity.
Having a plan, implementing it, and staying consistent, helps to keep things simple.
Social support groups are excellent. They remind you that you are not alone in this battle. However, if you do not have a plan for maintaining positive thinking during your journey, it will become a path of self-destruction. One thing I learned, which helps me a lot, is a practice called positive self-talk.
Positive self-talk is a coping skill which helps maintain positive thinking whenever you are encountering stressful situations. Behavior does not lead to your thoughts; your thoughts lead to your routine. To acquire a consistent wave of positive self-talk, you first must master the reasoning of negative self-talk.
There are two types of negative self-talk:
1. Thinking about anything which can motivate and convince you to justify wrong behavior. When you are protecting your identity, you will face attacks designed to challenge your commitment; name-calling, peer pressure, being the brunt of crude jokes and movies. All of these attacks can cause a festering wound in your spiritual mind.
This wound will begin convincing you to strike back in negative ways against those who try to or have harmed you. As negative thinking is allowed to flow in and not flow out, your behaviors may become unhealthy. For example, aggressive communication which leads to power struggles or negatively labeling others and perceiving the self as perfect. When you do this and begin labeling those who have the right to their choice, you become no better than the ones attacking you.
2. Then there is the type which can make you feel worthless and develop low self-esteem and decreased confidence. Worthlessness + low self-esteem + decreased confidence = putting your purity in danger.
When you are attacked, if you do not cope with the negative input, you are headed towards possibly breaking your identity. This can be due to overwhelming pressure from friends, enemies, or even the people you are working. This pressure is designed to break your personality based on you feeling bad or sorry for yourself due to your decisions.
If your partners no longer respect your identity, let them go!
Yes, some will attempt to attack you emotionally with name-calling and other methods. I received plenty. However, you must not let them drive you into negative self-talk to the point where you start considering yourself worthless.
I have been there; it made me question whether I was a real woman or not. I realized I was in negative self-talk: questioning my confidence and strength. I had to find a way to make sure those negative attacks flowed out of my system.